Do you need to
FORGIVE someone?
For: God’s Church
As an air-conditioning
contractor in
That afternoon, I received a
phone call from the owner who explained to me he had two tire tracks down his
driveway about ˝” deep. He informed me
that the concrete man examined the damage to the driveway. He said the only
thing he could do was to saw the driveway at the end of the tire tracks,
jackhammer out the damaged area, and re-pour the concrete at my expense. He
said he would call me on Monday about the reconstruction. After I hung up the phone, I became enraged
at the serviceman. As I was venting my
anger, Charles Green a minister friend of mine, happened to be at my place of
business. He said, “Let’s go to your office and talk.” As we shut the door, he said plainly to me,
“You know, as a Christian, you are going to have to forgive this man.” This calmed me down. We prayed together, and I said, “Lord, I
choose to forgive this man for his mistake, and Lord, you will have to handle
the concrete.” Monday rolled around and
the owner didn’t call. Tuesday, about
lunchtime, as the serviceman drove by the owner’s house, he called in on the
two-way radio in excitement, and said, “A miracle has occurred…the concrete is perfect!”
I knew in my heart that if I
hadn’t forgiven the serviceman, I would have been spending a large sum of money
to fix the driveway. As a young
Christian, ignorant of a mighty God and his ways, I started studying about
forgiveness and what would motivate the Lord to do such a miracle. I knew faith wasn’t the issue. When we prayed and asked the Lord to handle
the problem, I never dreamed He would simply fix the concrete. I figured I would have peace and that things
would go well with the insurance company and the owner, which I suppose, was a
form of faith.
I knew that if we forgive
others, the Heavenly Father will
also forgive us (Matt. 6:14). In Matthew
18: 21-35, Peter asked Jesus, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me
and I forgive him: Till seven
times?” Jesus answered and said, “I say
not unto thee, until seven times: but, until seventy times seven.” Which means, don’t ever quit forgiving. Then Jesus told a parable about a man
forgiven of a tremendous debt of 10,000 talents. Today, that’s approximately $3,300,000.00,
i.e., three billion, three hundred million dollars! This was a sum of money he couldn’t live long
enough to pay back, but he was forgiven the debt. Is this not a picture of salvation? However, this man that was forgiven went out
and found a fellow brother who owed him a small debt (approximately $16.00) and
he would not forgive him. He kept him in
bondage to the debt. When his lord found
what he had done he was very angry with him, and turned him over to the
tormenters. Jesus says in Matthew
18:35 – “So likewise shall my heavenly Fatherly do also unto you, if ye from
your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.”
Let’s look at a man who was
bitter. We will turn to I Samuel
18:7. In the story, David had just killed the giant, Goliath and is
considered a hero. Everybody is joyful
except King Saul. In verse 8 King Saul
is angry, jealous and suspicious of David.
I ask you: Did Saul forgive David?
What did Jesus say would happen to Saul or anyone who didn’t forgive in
Matthew 18: 34-35? Jesus said they would
be turned over to the tormenters, which is torment by the heavenly Father. This means that our heavenly Father will
allow us to be spiritually attacked because of our disobedience.
Now,
let’s see what happened to Saul in I Samuel 18: 10-15. In verse 10, an evil spirit (a tormenter)
from God came mightily upon Saul and he raved (he was in a rage). In verse 11, Saul hurled a spear at David and
tried to kill (murder) him. Verse
12 tells us that Saul was afraid of David. Verse 13 tells us that Saul did not want
David in his presence, and verse 15 tells us that Saul dreaded him. That is, David’s presence depressed
Saul. “Looking diligently lest any man
fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you,
and thereby many be defiled.” Hebrews 12:15.
My
brother was depressed, with no job or income, smoked pot and drank. His wife
was running around, smoking crack, and seldom home. He left his house one day to run an errand
and returned to find the locks had been changed. He was forced to leave the home where their
three children remained. He came to live
with my family and me. This struggle he
was having went on for about a year and a half. The anger, hatred, judgment, bitterness
without compassion was compiled in all the events in that year and a half,
towards my sister in law. One day,
suddenly and unexpected, I found my brother had passed away in his sleep on my
couch of congestive heart failure. Now I am not only angry with her, but with
God as well. I asked my sister-in-law
to bring the children and stay at my house until after the funeral, as they
lived 2 hours away and could not afford to travel back and forth each day. At
this point, I am only thinking about the children. After the funeral it is revealed that my
sister-in-law was six months pregnant with another man’s child. I really did not like my sister-in-law at
this point; not to mention exhaustive efforts with Child Services that failed
to produce what I would like to see happen.
For the next year I judged her, hated her, and was very angry. I was constantly “preaching” to her, what she
should be doing and how she should be acting. I was telling her all this
according to God’s word and because I was going to church. I was saying the right things, but in my
heart I knew something was wrong. My
heart had become cold and hard. Then
one year later God revealed my heart in a loving way. He revealed how I was judging, how I hated
and the boiling anger that dwelt inside of me.
God said that I could talk the talk but was not walking the walk. WOW! That was a hard revelation. After Gods conviction, I made a choice to
forgive her. I planned to tell her when
she came to pick up the children who were visiting. The test came immediately; she never showed
up to get her own children. By God’s
grace and mercy, I saw that this was a test.
I wrote her a letter, asking her forgiveness for my hypocritical
actions. That was the first of many tests
to come. Some I have passed and some I have failed. I was always steadfast going in God’s
direction because of the vile he exposed in my heart. God had her heart. I had to deal with my heart, and my sin. That was the beginning of the healing in our
relationship. Now, four years later, she
has been clean and drug free for 18 months and counting. God healed our relationship and our
friendship, only because I “chose” to do what the truth said, “forgive”;
instead of doing what my flesh said.
It took me a little longer to acknowledge the anger I had for God,
because we are not supposed to be mad at Him (or His purposes that we can not
understand); but eventually, I prayed, “Lord, why is my heart still cold and
hard, where did I loose you?” God revealed
to me that I was angry with Him. I
chose to forgive God and now I am on a journey back to Him.
Past hurts do not just go away. Most people assume that hurtful events in the past will be forgotten and will have not effect upon us. This is not true. When we get squeezed and the pressure is on what comes out of our mouth is what is in our heart. Matthew 15:11 says, “Not what goes into the mouth defiles a man; but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man.”
A bitter person will have a judgmental spirit, be very critical and quick to remember the hurts of the past. He or she will be unaware of the pain they are inflicting on others because of their explosive anger. Past hurts produce a tension point that is instantly activated when any similar situation occurs. Then they will feel sorry and apologize, but if pride rules in their heart they will blame others for their anger and actions. Their hearts become cold and hard.
One
day on an air-conditioning service call, a lady was complaining to me about a
neighbor who had beaten her out of some money on a remodeling job she had
done. I then shared with her about
forgiveness, and she revealed to me that she had a daughter who lives in
If you have truly forgiven every person who has ever sinned against you, then you are able to experience the great freedom, joy, peace, and blessing that result from being a forgiven and a forgiving child of God.
However, it is possible to live with seeds of unforgiveness for so long, that we become blinded to its presence in our lives. The following exercises will help open your eyes to any unforgiveness that may have become lodged in your heart.
(Let’s Examine Ourselves.) These
emotions will manifest when the pressure is on.
We can try to hide it in ourselves and just fume inside all day.
Put
a check mark (P) next to the following
fruits of unforgiveness.
o Anger o Critical (fault
finding) o Hurt feelings
o Impatience o Irritability o Jealousy
o Judgmental o Rage o Revenge
o Sarcasm o Self Pity o Suspicion (Have a hard time
trusting)
Have you been hurt? Put a (P) next to any of the
following you may have experienced.
o Abandoned by parent or mate o abused (physically,
emotionally, sexually)
o Alcoholic parent or mate o belittled
o Cheated in a business/financial deal o divorced by mate
o Lied to o mate committed
adultery/other sexual sin
o Neglected by grown children o parents divorced
o Promises broken o publicly humiliated
o Rebellious/wayward son or daughter o rejected by parents
o Slander/falsely accused o stolen from
o Treated unfairly by employer o violent crime against self
or loved one
As
you reflect on the ways you have been offended, do you find any of these
statements to be true?
o Every time I think of person(s) or offense, I still feel angry.
o I have a subtle, secret desire to see person(s) pay for what
he/she/they did to me.
o Deep in my heart, I
wouldn’t mind if something bad happened to the person(s) who
hurt me.
o I sometimes find myself
telling others how person(s) hurt me.
o If person(s) name
comes up, I am more likely to say something negative about
him/her than something positive.
o I cannot thank God for person(s).
These
statements are an indication that we have not fully forgiven all those who have
sinned against us. Remember:
Forgiveness is not forgetting. It
is a transaction in which I release my debtor from the obligation to repay his
debt.
However, the attitude of our heart, when
we do think of the offense, can be an indicator of whether or not we have truly
forgiven. When you think of the person
who has hurt you most deeply, which of the following attitudes do you
experience?
o Emotional churning o desire for God to bless
him/her
o Hard to see his good
qualities o desire to see him
spiritually restored
o Hard to ask God to bless
him/her o desire for revenge
o Gratefulness to God for
this person o sense of rest and
relinquishment
o Want others to know what
you know o humbled by how greatly you
have sinned about him/her against
God and how much He has
forgiven
you
Have you deceived yourself
into believing that you have forgiven everyone who has hurt you? As God examines your heart, does He find any
unforgiveness there? Will you agree with
God that there is unforgiveness in your heart? ţ
Last year, a lady
came from
Now, if you will ask the Lord to show you all who have hurt you. Even from early childhood, and make a list. Usually, you can start with yourself. Ask yourself, “How do I feel about myself?” Do you feel like you measure up? If not, write your name first on that list. (James 5:16) Confess your sins to one another that you may be healed. Call your pastor, an elder, or a Christian friend that you can trust, and confess your unforgiveness. Come to the cross of Jesus and repent, choosing to forgive those who have offended you.
I have learned over the years to ask three questions when I am praying for the sick.
1. What’s wrong with you?
2. How long has this been going on?
3. What happened?
Most of the time, there is a breach in a relationship. I prayed with a lady who had a headache for six weeks. It started with a breach between in-laws. After she forgave them, the headache was gone. Another time, a lady told me she had high blood pressure for about eight months. It started when her brother cheated her out of some money.
Are you ready to forgive and be healed?
A PRAYER FOR DELIVERANCE:
Dear
Lord Jesus, I ask you to forgive me for all of the unforgiveness and
bitterness, that I have had against this whole list of people. I choose to forgive them and bless them
now. Lord, I confess anger, hate,
gossip and slander that went out of my mouth, and exposed my heart full of
unforgiveness. Lord, please release me
from all that unforgiveness, hate, anger, fear, anxiety, critical (fault
finding), judgments, dread (fear), depression, and sickness and deliver them
from me now in the name of Jesus Christ the Son of God. I plead the blood of JESUS CHRIST and the
finished work at
Lord, I love you with all my heart. I thank you for the truth that is setting me free, in Jesus’ name. Lord, I know that I will be tested whether I have spoken empty words or spoken from a true desire in my heart to please you. (Every work of God is tested. Proverbs 30:5). Please give me eyes to see, ears to hear, and a heart to perceive your unsearchable riches; to hear your voice, and walk bearing fruit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness and goodness) and find your rest. Amen.
Get ready to be tested!!!
Remember: It’s about 50
miles from your head to your heart!
Situations will present themselves to you again where you will have to
forgive. When these circumstances happen
again, in the fear of the Lord, choose to die to yourself, and agree with the
Lord Jesus, who will fight the battles for you.
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subject. (Free)
Jesus Reigns Fellowship
(615) 451-7778
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